Surgery Day

It is hard to believe that I had my surgery this morning. Monday evening I didn't think I was too nervous, a friend told me that he only slept a couple hours the night before his surgery and I thought I would do better. Then came the night and I didn't sleep at all either. That was partly because of the baby but also I was anxious and nervous. It was a huge event that was about to happen. I was not allowed to eat after midnight however had I needed to my partner, who is a doctor told me that I could eat a couple crackers if I really had to. Thankfully I didn't. I did buy some donuts and ate them last night, and stayed up as late as I could to eat because I had no idea what that was going to be like today. 

So I got up at 0545 since I had the 0730 time slot and had to be there at 0630. I knew I needed on last shower before I was not allowed to take one for days. The surgery was at the San Francisco surgery center which was about 4 miles from our apartment, in the industrial are of the city. Finding it was a challenge, I was driving there and it was dark and we were anxious but everything turned out fine. We had to circle the block a few time with a place like SF there are a lot of one way streets as well as pedestrians so it was stressful. We got there on time and I was the only patient that morning so it worked out great. 

My partner stayed with me for the check in portion, where I paid and did the paperwork and they talked again to me about the surgery. Then I walked into the room right at 0730 and my partner went home to get the baby and relieve our fabulous friends who watched her. She came back to get me at 1100 and took me home. 

The surgery itself went very smoothly they said, it was only 2 hours long which the doctor said his shorts time he might need is 1 hr and 45 minutes but all the way up to 3 hours. So the fact it was just 2 hours was a good thing, means it was rather simple. I came out of recover really well too, although I was so tired I would have loved to lay there and sleep all day. The nurse was very nice and I had some apple juice and saltine crackers waiting for me. There was almost no pain at all at that point. She let me decide when I wanted to go home and so my partner helped me get dressed and we left at 1130. Even getting dressed was not too bad. 

So I have a huge bandage/binder around my chest. I did take a picture but will post it later cause I don't want to find my camera to get the picture. There are two drain tubes from each side that hang out, which are kind of in the way. The drains are there to drain excess fluid since they did a major tissue removal. I change them every 6-8 hours and there isn't a whole lot draining which is good. The bandage/binder makes it very difficult to move around. I have to move using my legs and core. I am not supposed to pull myself up or use any kind of upper body strength. That has been very difficult so I am laying in bed and when I want to adjust I have to swing my entire body around then stand up and move carefully. It is an ordeal but I have been getting up a lot to go to the kitchen. I am wearing a button down shirt sometimes and staying in my boxers and luckily my friends and partner don't care that that is all I am wearing. Even though putting on a button up shirt was easier than I thought, even buttoning the buttons. I need more help with pants, which is why I am just going to stay in boxers at least for now. The doctor said that after day 7 if I feel up to it I can try to put on a shirt that goes over my head. We will have to play that by ear but I sure am excited for that day! Regardless of what day that is, so I promised myself I would not push myself to far. I think I will be able to put one on with help though because I think I could do it the way I dress my daughter, with my partners help that is. Because I can comfortably move my arms so much more than I thought I could. Whenever that day is it is going to be glorious! 

I am on pain medicine every 4 hours because my right side is in more pain than my left, which while I find odd the doctor was not concerned. Thankfully I am totally ambidextrous so I can do things with that arm. I have more range of motion than I expected, at least from that side. Under the binder itches which is proving to be annoying and or challenging. It is really on tight and I can't take it off for a while. My first post op appointment is friday but my understanding is that I will be wearing it for 2 weeks probably. Time will tell. The doctor called to check on me tonight and said that the surgery went well and he was very pleased and thought it was going to look awesome. He also said I sounded like I was doing fabulous and wasn't the slightest bit worried that I was going to have any problem healing just based upon how this first 12 has gone, which are the hardest sometimes. I am hoping tomorrow to move to just extra strength tylenol and I think I can. Even not on any medicine the worst pain I have experienced as probably a 5 on the 1-10 scale and that was my right side as we drove home cause the streets were so rough and bumpy. 

I have spent most of the afternoon in bed, watching television or laying here with my partner and our baby. Our daughter wants to play and it is clear she doesn't understand why i am not picking her up, however it is much sadder for me than her. She won't remember. My partner though has been great so far about holding her so I can giver her a little kiss or laying next to me so I could hold her hand or play with her laying down. I really appreciate that :) I am also only really sleeping at most an hour and a half right now before I wake up because I am uncomfortable. So thankfully we have an extra room where our child is sleeping and my partner is in there tonight so I can wake up as needed. I have to lay on my back and because of how I have to get up I am laying at a 30 degree angle. It is less than pleasant however it is what it is. It has been a hard day for my partner, on many levels and yet she continues to show up for me. She is an amazing woman, very strong and loyal and I am grateful she is here with me. I am also grateful for our great friends who are here enjoying themselves seeing the city but also helping us. We couldn't do it without them. 

I am grateful that I am not in a ton of pain, that I have the mobility I do already and that I have had no problems thus far. I have always been a real decent healer so I am glad this is no exception. It is weird to really believe they are gone, because the bandage is actually bigger than when I ever bound before to hide my chest. And I have not seen that they are gone so while I know it, it still feels very odd to think that beneath the bandages is the chest I have always wanted. I have been shocked in a good way by how supportive all my friends were today, all the good wishes via text or Facebook messages. It has really blown me away and means a lot to me. I suppose I didn't realize what I had until today, which is a lot of amazing friends who are accepting me for who I am. I think that might be one of the first times in my life I have truly felt that way.