Day 3 Post Op

Last night I got out of the apartment for the first time since the surgery, we went to get some burritos for dinner. It was so refreshing to get some air and see the sunshine. It was weird too though. My first time in public since the surgery and I still had that huge binder/bandages on and the drain tubes. I was extremely uncomfortable as well but it was so nice to get out even though it was only for 45 minutes. I slept really well again last night, which was a huge blessing. I am still not entirely comfortable sleeping so stiff and on my back but I am getting used to it. I am feeling better today than I have yet, with more energy and less pain. This morning I had my first post operative appointment and was not sure if I was going to get my drain tubes out or not. I wanted them out cause they are a major pain because they get in the way and are annoying. However since it was only day 3 they left them in until Monday. On Monday I will get the tubes out and the stitches out too! They did change the dressing though and I got to see my chest for the first time. WOW is pretty much all I can say, it looks amazing! There is very little swelling and or bruising. Dr. Brownstein was extremely impressed with how well I was healing and he said he could tell I have been taking good care of myself and resting well. It looked so amazing it was surreal really. Then he put a new dressing on but it is a lot less than before and with a  shirt on there is no way to know I have anything under there. Just seeing it and how well it looked gave me a huge boost in how I feel, especially emotionally. It made me feel like it is all worth it, because there were moments last night when I was feeling so down and miserable.

I can get myself dressed for the most part, although socks and shoes are difficult. I don't seem to be having too many problems with jeans and buttons. I can not wait to take a shower, although my sponge bathes have been getting better. I can bend over the bathtub and wash may hair now which is nice, but no matter what it is not going to replace a shower so in that regard tuesday morning just can't come fast enough.  I feel really gross even though I am washing, there is just something about a shower that does the trick for me.

So this afternoon my daughter is sick and I was calling the insurance company back home to see if I could get her seen down here. The lady on the phone called me mom a few times, or ma'am or whatever else. I was so totally shocked because there is no way my voice sounds female at this point. Then when I called the insurance down here they did the same thing, two different people did. The one guy I corrected and said that no I was actually dad. He apologized, said "sir" and 2 minutes later called me "ma'am" again...it really made me upset. Maybe a different day I might have been able to let it roll off my back more but today was a big day for me and I was really feeling like dad in a whole new way so then to have three different people do it in such a short time was very deflating. Not to mention no one has used a female pronoun in literally probably weeks and so to have it happen three times in an hour just sent me over the edge. I did ask why they called me that and no one had an answer, which in some ways just makes me more grumpy.

I am really grateful that in just the last 24 hours I have felt so much better. I am grateful I have so much mobility, I really didn't think that I would but I do. Dr. Brownstein was okay with the activities I was doing because everything looked so great. I am not picking up anything really or bending or things like that but I can dress myself rather easily, wash my hair etc which many people couldn't do at this point. This weekend if I want to drive I can, but I doubt I am going to want to. I think that the fear I had of being laid up for weeks is just not going to be my reality. I think being rather healthy and in decent shape before the surgery is really helping me now. I am not sure that the reality of what I had done is going to sink in just yet. I think that first shower I take is going to really cement that in my brain. As long as a binder is on and I can't see my chest it is easy to just feel like I did before surgery. Overall I am extremely happy with how things are going.