Department of Licensing

I just got my new license with my gender marker changed. It is a weird reality to look at it and see the letter "M" there instead of "F". I was the 2nd person in line this morning at the DOL...standing outside for 15 minutes in the freezing cold. It paid off though because I was out of there in 20 minutes. I was a little worried because I got the oldest woman there to help me and at first she was really unsure how to handle my situation (which it is not like I am the first who has ever done it) so anyway I was a little worried but then she ended up being above and beyond friendly. So that was nice that the experience was pleasant and there were no issues. I find that not only is it often those who I least expect to be okay with it that are, but also more often than not older people are okay with it. My partner said she thinks it is because they have learned that you have to not care what other people think and so they are more accepting? I am not sure really but I am still constantly surprised.

I still am dealing with changing my name legally with social security. It has been painful, which is contrary to what I have heard. Then the lady at the DOL told me today that I should try going to this other office because the one I have been going to is notorious for being a pain. Anyway 2 days too late because I finally just mailed my stuff in to them. Of course now there is a threat of a government shut down tonight so who knows what is going to happen. Without my notarized copy of my name change (because it is in the mail to them) I can't even go to this other office. So I am feeling really frustrated by the entire situation. I don't feel like driving down to the court to get another notarized copy for $5 and although I have one more in my wallet I prefer to keep it there because I have already run into a couple situations where I need to show it to someone. I can't wait for this part to be over with because I am sure it is giving me a few more gray hairs than I already have.

Just this week I started to actively look for a job, and I am going to a veterans job fair next week. I am feeling both confident and nervous. It is a pain though because I don't have anything to wear that fits so I am again going shopping this weekend. I should have kept track of how much money I have spent in the last 9 months on clothes, because I am sure it is hundreds and hundreds of dollars. Which is not an uncommon issue to have. Yet for someone who hates shopping it is the last thing I feel like doing. I wish I could hire someone to go for me.

The physical transition is not the part I am now having a challenge with, it is the emotional transition. After all, whether I liked it or not I did live as a woman for 27 years. I am finding the emotional transition to be far harder than the physical transition. I am constantly reminding myself to stay in the day or the moment and that is hard sometimes.