The Defense of Marriage Act as it is know was introduced in 1996 to Congress, and sadly signed by then President Bill Clinton. The basic idea of the legislation, to really break it down into easy understandable terms was to allow for states to not recognize and kind of civil union, marriage, etc of same sex couples from other states. So since Iowa allows same sex marriage it allows Kansas not to recognize it. Which in turn means the rights one might have in Iowa one doesn't have in Kansas (just as an example). It also for the first time in the history of the country defined what marriage was in terms of a legal standpoint. I am not talking religion here, I will get into that in a minute. Legally it said that the only marriages that would be recognized by the federal government were those between a man and a woman. Basically it doesn't matter that the state of NY just passed a historic gay marriage bill and now all gay couples in that state enjoy state benefits and equality, as far as the federal government is concerned they are not recognized.
So real quick, I believe there are many people who were like I was before I came out three and a half years ago. I was completely oblivious and that was mostly because I was unaware of anyone in my life who was gay and it didn't effect me personally. I had heard the term gay marriage within the church, but mostly as people would make jobs and mock gay people. I mostly remember a lot of rhetoric about marriage being between "Adam and Eve" not "Adam and Steve" following by mocking laughs and other degrading comments. In the church! That too is a different subject for a different post (or if you know me personally a conversation over coffee). So I just didn't care. What I didn't realize is that it does effect me, even if it doesn't now because I can marry my partner. It effects me in a few ways, and I suspect that to get into all of them in depth would require me to write a book so I will just give a few (of the many) bullet points. So how does it effect me, you and everyone else you might ask? Here is my take on it, right or wrong it is my opinion.
- It allows the federal government to go backwards and again create separate classes of people, similar to what happened with African Americans (please don't confuse this with me saying both struggles are the same, I don't necessarily think so although both are equally as important).
- It allows the federal government to essentially violate one's right to freedom of religion as stated in the first amendment of the constitution which essentially says congress will make no laws that forbid or restrict one's chosen expression of faith. If you look at who generally is against same sex marriage in this country it is disproportionally the evangelicals. What about a religion that supports same sex marriage? Is this not infringing upon their rights? This is different that defining it for the same of religion purposes. I won't even touch on the other constitutional issues I believe it violates cause I don't have time tonight.
- It teaches children, all children that some people are better than others and that some people have an inherent thing wrong with them. This goes against what the bible teaches (I don't believe the bible but just saying). The bible says in many places each and every human being was born in god's image. So then if a gay person is born this way (which it is close to being scientifically proven is true in humans) then that seems awful hypocritical.
- The federal government is not only allowing discrimination but encouraging it. DADT is one example.
- It goes in DIRECT opposition to the Declaration of Independence.
- there are many more but I am getting tired it is late, might have to wait cause I do want to finish this post.
So anyway there are many dangerous implications of the federal government making such a law. Now, of course I am clearly a supporter of same sex marriage. I am also a supporter of religious freedom, and whether I like it or not a church should have every right to say that they don't want to marry a couple of the same sex due to their beliefs. I can comfortably let that be. However when that same church wants to then come and tell everyone that they must abide by such a law that is not constitutional. They also scream foul if god forbid some other issue they don't agree with is in essence "shoved down their throat"as they might say. There is a terrible double standard, and they use a fear based tactic to get their results.
So now that it is clear I am very passionate about this subject I will get to the point of this post. My partner and I were looking at health insurance options for me today. Prior to now, when we were a same sex couple to be on her insurance would have cost nearly $350 a month because we were not federally recognized. Now as a transgender male who has "fully" transitioned it would cost us $170 a month because we can get married. This is not the first time that DOMA has hurt us financially (or in this case potentially benefited us however you look at it). Yet now we have a choice, we can get married. My same sex couple friends don't have that choice. They lose out, they are forced to pay that high price or get do something else that might cost more or whatever the case is. They can't be a family. There are many many more instances like this, some of which we have experienced ourselves and many more we have not. The point is simply this; we are human beings, all of us are and we all deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and honor regardless of our belief system and whether we agree with someone else or not. I feel guilty because we can get married, and enjoy those benefits which are denied to my friends. Yet I can't deny that to save $200 a month is a big freaking deal. I don't know what we are going to do, but I do now know that while I was supporting the repeal of DOMA in the past I am now going to be more vocal about it, however that looks.
I believe an important part of that is sharing our story, my story and educating people. Education can break down the fear. To show people we are all just human beings sharing the same planet, but are inherently good decent people will go a long way. I think in essence I am saying I am finding the value in being "out" when safe for one to do so. Be vocal about the struggles and challenges. IF you aren't a same sex couple or gay/lesbian etc don't be silent anymore thinking other people will talk. Everyone needs a voice, and I truly believe that the time is now to be that voice. This injustice has gone on too long.
Sorry this was such a political post, this is a subject that is near and dear to me. That I am passionate about because of how it has effected me, and chances are affected someone you know too.
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